Monday, March 15, 2010

Words to live by...

Layla from The Lettered Cottage posted some words on her blog the other day that really resonated with me.  My friends and I-- all mothers of young children, all women who have spent a large portion of our pre-motherhood lives engaged in the act of creating---discuss, sometimes, the tensions or living fully in the worlds of parenting and creativity.

It's oh-so-hard-to do-- and oh-so-easy a little pit of self-pity in which to wallow. 
Creating with children is wonderful-- magical sometimes.  But it is not the same personal place as creating on your own.  The sense of time out of time--- flow, I think it's called-- that comes in the middle of writing a poem, creating and seeing a design to completion, digging in the earth-- is very different from facilitating creativity in children.

John Harper sorting laundry
I fall victim-- more often than I should-- to the plauge of waiting.  Waiting for the children to fall asleep so that I can get to work.  Waiting for the children to be older so that they don't need me so much.  Waiting for--- well, there's always something.

Sometimes I'm so consumed with waiting that I forget that life is happening-- right now.  And I need a gentle reminder to just stop.  To work on perfecting the here and now.  To live.

And these are excellent words to live by.

Excerpted from the words of Pamela Redmond Satran. 

Every woman should know...

How to fall in love without losing herself.

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

When to try harder...and when to walk away.

That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

That her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over.

What she would and wouldn't do for love.

How to live alone...even if she doesn't like it.

Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.

Where to go when her soul needs soothing; be it to her best friend's kitchen table, or a charming Inn in the woods.

What she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...a year.
A reminder to me-- and you-- to slow down. 


paula said...

what a great reminder. thank you.

Joy said...

I am SO much like this...waiting for this or that. I have to constantly remind myself to be more in the moment. I'm just a busy kind of person, much like you. Reminding myself that I'll regret wishing their childhoods away in another 5-10 years helps...sometimes. :)

Gremlina said...

It's like you were HERE last night...I feel like I don't accomplish anything many times--raising children doesn't seem like enough to show for myself, but really it's the only thing that will last forever. Thanks for the reassurance that that endeavor trumps the rest.

Melissa said...

I try to remind myself-- and it's hard-- that the main thing is keeping the kids out of therapy when they're my age:) But really, it's such a more meaningful life that is enjoyed in the small moments, not the grand ones. And liking the person you spend 100% of your time with (you!)makes life all that much more enjoyable.

Haven and Home said...

Excellent reminder!

Punctuation Mark said...

Adorable child... i sometime forget those things that all women should know... gotta print them out!