Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Welcome to my office!


Cozy, huh?  (And please tell me why I don't see all the little ickies when I'm taking the picture, but they jump right out at me the second I download a picture?  So please mentally turn that campaign chest around, flip the fringe on the blanket down and hide those ugly computer cords!)

The beauty of working from home is that when I'm not here, I'm right here in this corner of my living room in this little chair that just fits my kinks. Well, the times I'm not running around to the park, or the pediatrician, or the carpool line... Most of my day is spent taking care of my kids.  My work happens during naptime and after bedtime (gotta love that 7 pm to midnight shift, eh?)  I sort-of can't wait until I have an actual work day for work-- it will seem dreamily productive, I'm sure.  But of course, that will mean that my babies have grown up and gone to big kid school--oh, no, no more talking about THAT.  So for now, I'll fit it in when I can and do with a tad less sleep. 

I am going to have to spend the next few days on work-- I'm a wee bit behind (due to those aforementioned little hitches-- they ARE cute, though.)  I'm hoping to pop back in in the next few days with some pictures of our home.(Hint, hint:  if you're not already following the blog, sign right up so you'll know the very second I post something!)  We live in a wonderful old home-- 86 years young, with many lovely little corners I want to share, and some really big renovation and decorating nightmares that I sometimes don't want to think about.  But blogging is therapy, right?  So we'll talk it out together.  But for now, me and my cutting table have a hot date.  Hot diggity dog.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Story of John Harper

Well, it happened.  My little man celebrated one full year with our family. 
John Harper, aged ONE!
We were expecting his arrival a little bit sooner than he chose to arrive.  John Harper was due on Dec. 12.  It came and went.  As did the 15th (his "other" official due date.)  Then came Christmas Eve, Christmas Day.


my belly, 41 weeks
I saw a midwife for my pregnancy with John Harper.  It was an uncomplicated pregnancy, and I prepared for six months for a VBAC(Grady was a cesarean due to size) using Hypnobirthing.  We felt ready and excited to welcome John Harper in a completely natural birth.  We played this song over and over and over again, and I cried imagining the moment I would get to meet my son.

I awoke with a scream in the middle of the night on Dec. 28.  I'd read about back labor.  I didn't realize what waking up in the middle of a back labor contraction felt like.  Not great.  Throughout that night and all the following day and well into the next night I worked to get John Harper to us.  After a full 24 hours of hard, hard natural labor, I was at 2 cm.  I asked for an epidural, and then after some hard thought, prayer and tears, Adam and I decided that the best way for our baby to be born was via a repeat cesarean. 
coupla days old
John Harper Westmoreland Tarleton came screaming into the world at 11:54 pm on Dec 29, 17 days overdue.  All 10 lbs, 11 oz, 21 1/2 inches of him.  Despite his long journey, he seemed perfect.  I was able to touch and kiss him immediately, and they brought him to me to nurse within an hour. 

four days old
Within a few hours, we realized he was not, in fact, perfectly healthy.  There seemed to be something funny about his latch, and nobody had any real answers, other than to keep nursing him.  No one came to check his blood sugar, protocol for babies over 9 lbs., for 26 hours.  When it was finally checked at 27 hour old, his blood sugar was 40.  He was shaking and a seizure looked imminent. He was given formula, and stabilized.  Then began a cycle I am still trying to forget.  I would pump for 20 minutes, getting a few milliliters (yes, drops!) of breast milk (my milk hadn't come in yet because of the cesarean) and then Adam would feed him from a tiny cup.  We then gave him formula.  I got up while he ate and washed the pump parts.  And this cycle had to be repeated every two hours-- meaning about an hour in between the time I started and the time I finished--24 hours a day.  It took three days for him to be able to stabilize his own blood sugar, even on an almost exclusive diet of formula. I look back on those weeks-- and I had been through the shock of a newborn before-- and I don't know how we survived. 

meeting Grady and "Grady's John Harper"-- his enormous baby doll
There's more to the story, too, that isn't worth talking about anymore.  It was a hard, hard time.  Breastfeeding is so, so important to me, and it seemed like John Harper needed all the benefits my milk could provide even more than other babies.  We saw lactation consultants, occupational therapists, speech therapists, and an infant chiropractor.  We heard words the words "cerebral palsy." People have asked me if I cried a lot.  I didn't.  I knew that if I let myself fall apart, even for one minute, I wouldn't get myself back together. 

six weeks old
We kept on keeping on.  I kept putting John Harper to my breast.  I kept on pumping.  He began to eat less and less formula and more and more of my milk.  But his jaw was clamped shut as if it were wired, and his little body still seemed like a board-- he was completely stiff and we couldn't get his arms and legs to bend. 

And then, when he was 4 weeks old, he began to run a fever.  I took him to the doctor-- the pediatricain we saw told me to take him home.  The next day I was sitting in the emergency room holding my blue baby, watching him struggle to get air, seeing him held down while he had vial after vial of blood drawn, have a spinal tap, a chest x-ray.  I was alone.  Adam was with Grady while we waited on someone to come watch him. 

I didn't know what the next day would bring for us.  It's the most afraid I've ever felt. 

really little-- I think this is prior to the hospital, but I'm not sure
He had pneumonia.  He spent days on oxygen, hooked up to wires and buzzers and I sat in a chair next to his hospital crib that looked like a cage.  After a week, we came home again.

And then the weeks went by, and then months.  When he was 3 months old, he began to latch on during nursing.  We held our breaths while the lactation consultant weighed him after he fed.  I breathed a sigh of relief that he was getting milk.  And slowly, slowly, as his little mouth practiced opening and his little muscles worked, his body began to unkink.  He rolled over.  He rocked on all fours.  He crawled at 6 months, 1 week and 3 days old.  And nobody talked about cerebral palsy anymore.
 
First frosted cupcake.  It was really yummy.
And so today we celebrate one year of John Harper.  And we are almost ready to say goodbye to an old year and welcome a new one in. 

Goodbye to a year of hospital stays (there have been two more, but thankfully he's been fine every time), fear, worry and stress. 

Hello to a new year of wonderful with my wonderful boy.
Happy Birthday, John Harper!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

A Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day...


...I have to ship to Austrialia.  International shipping makes me cry.  A lot.  Mostly because I think that by heeding the advice of my friendly postal employee (whom, I might add, includes the word "beer" in almost every interchange we have...)on my customs declaration, I might end up in the pokey.  I have tons and tons of fun stuff in store for you, but I need another day to get it together.  Hope everyone's holiday was de-vine and I'll see you tomorrow!
image found on photobucket

P.S.-- my husband says I should delete this post-- of course I don't cheat on my customs declarations, silly.  I have a feeling the pokey is not nearly as nice as my house.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

::REFLECTION::



And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.  And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
~~Luke 2:9-14

Blessings of peace, goodwill and great joy to you and yours this holiday season.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

**WHOOPS** (an interactive tale)


Late one recent night I had a inexplicable craving for one of these from here. (Joy, don't click those links-- you don't want to know, I promise).  And no, in case you're wondering, I'm not this.  So seeing as how I got off the couch and all after dark, I decided to go here for some of this.  I had a lovely time.  And it was only upon returning that I looked in the mirror and saw that I'd spent two hours in public looking like this.


Please, please tell me you do stuff like this, too?

Monday, December 21, 2009

"Duh"-uh-ull

After a couple of days of looking at our buffet that I decorated last week, I couldn't help but think how uninspired, uninspiring and just plain dull it seemed.  And then I remembered these cute little bottle brush trees I found at the Tar-jay (2 for a buck!).  And I had a big "duh" moment and started all over again.


So out went the old and in went the new.  I was working with what I had-- because who wants to go shopping with two kids the week before Christmas?  A crate of clementines and a coupla dozen candy canes. 

That's a little better now, don't you think?

This season has been a hard one--wrapping up the last season of Hoot Baby and preparing for our spring collection, dealing with illness, another hospital stay for the baby (he's fine now!) and many, many too-long and rainy days.  There's starting to be a little light at the end of my tunnel, and I do so, so love designing, which is the phase I'm entering (ever so briefly-- it's the most fun, but also the most quickly-passing part of my job)
But for now, I'm going to do my best to enjoy everything the season has left to offer-- and maybe just a few more slices bites of dessert! 

Sunday, December 20, 2009

On Friday, just after lunch, it began to snow.

My Scotch-Irish husband channeled his inner Jewish grandmother and fried up platefuls of crispy, delicious latkes.  As the snow continued to fall, we dined by candlelight.

I went out into the night (wearing croc moccasins with no socks.)  The world was hushed and shimmering.
It was magic. 



John Harper pretended to be Ralphie.  We pushed him around in the stroller up and down the icy street.


Grady walked around and around our neighborhood.  He slid down hills and shoveled snow.
He was amazed.

 
We baked and baked and ate and ate.

 I looked at my children and my heart was completely full of them.
I caught my husband's eye and was perfectly content.

All weekend long.